Category: Ask Isa
Blog: Ask Isa: Manifesting Vs. Magical Thinking
Question: I believe in manifesting, but sometimes I worry that my thinking is “magical.” What’s the difference between manifesting what you want in life and magical thinking?
Isa: Manifestation is the process of moving into the unknown. To manifest properly, you have to be clear about what you want to manifest and why. Having a clear intention focuses your awareness, creating more possibilities for manifesting what you want.
Blog: Ask Isa: Finding Meaning in Divorce
By Isa Gucciardi, Ph.D.
Question: I just got divorced and it’s brought up a lot of shame for me. I feel like I failed in my marriage. How do I deal with the shame?
Isa: Whenever you have shame, you have blame. It sounds like there might be an internal conflict going on, where one part of you is blaming you and one part of you is receiving the messages of blame and feeling ashamed. I would recommend sitting down and exploring the part of yourself that is making you feel ashamed.
One way to do this is to think about all of the expectations you had going into the marriage. Consider the expectations you had of yourself, the expectations you had of the other person, and the expectations you had of the marriage itself and what you hoped it was going to do for you. For instance, if you got married because you wanted to feel validated by your family, ask yourself why you didn’t feel validated before you were married. You have to honestly examine your motivations for entering the marriage to discover what is behind these expectations. As you become clear about what your expectations were, you’re going to see how you respond when your expectations are not met.
Blog: Ask Isa: Unexpected Pregnancy
By Isa Gucciardi, Ph.D.
Question: I’m pregnant and I’m having a hard time connecting to my child. I wasn’t planning on getting pregnant and I’m not sure how I feel about it. What can I do to feel more connected to my child?
Isa: First of all, there isn’t anything wrong with you if you don’t feel connected to your child right away. This is a huge moment in your life, and you need to give yourself all the time and space you need for this pregnancy to fully register for you.
If you can’t connect with your child immediately, it’s likely because you need to take time to explore the ways you’re going to change as you become a mother. In order to connect with your child, you first have to connect with yourself. If you don’t put your own emotional and physical needs first, it will be more difficult to connect. Focusing on yourself in this way is not selfish, but will actually be beneficial for your child.
When preparing for motherhood, it is essential to reflect on what being a mother means to you and to consider how having a child is going to affect your everyday life. I recommend looking at your own definition of “mother” and examining the way you were mothered. If you have been well-mothered, reflect on what values you might emulate as a mother for your child. If you were not mothered well, there may be places within you that need healing.
Blog: Ask Isa: Can Depth Hypnosis Help Me with My Anxiety?
By Isa Gucciardi, Ph.D.
Question: Can Depth Hypnosis help me with my anxiety?
Isa: People often feel their anxiety controls their lives, but in reality, it always has something important to teach you. Depth Hypnosis can help you understand the roots of your anxiety, and when you know where your symptoms began, you can change your relationship to the original situation driving your anxiety.
Blog: Ask Isa: Can Depth Hypnosis Help Me Get Over My Breakup?
By Isa Gucciardi, Ph.D.
Question: I broke up with my boyfriend a while ago, but the pain still feels overwhelming. I’m not moving on at all. Part of me wants to be back in a relationship and part of me is relieved it’s over. Can Depth Hypnosis help me get over my breakup and move on?
Isa: What you’re describing sounds like an internal split, where part of you wants to be in the relationship and part of you does not. The tension and lack of resolution between these two parts is probably what’s making it hard for you to move on. Journaling can be a very helpful tool for understanding these two conflicting parts of yourself. For example, you can list all the reasons you want to be in the relationship, and then list all the reasons you are relieved to be out of the relationship. As you do this, the position of each part will become clear.
Blog: Ask Isa: How Do I Find My Purpose?
By Isa Gucciardi, Ph.D.
Question: I feel a lot of pressure to find my purpose. I’m starting to think I’m never going to find it. Everyone in my life seems to know what they’re good at and have things “figured out,” and deep down I’m wondering if I even have a purpose. How do I find my purpose?
Isa: The best way to figure out your purpose is to identify the activities and experiences that bring you happiness. Think of an activity you enjoy—drawing, making model planes, playing computer games, watching the sunset, baking cakes. It could be anything.
Blog: Ask Isa: Are All Past Lives Traumatic?
By Isa Gucciardi, Ph.D.
Question: It seems like all the past lives I contact with Depth Hypnosis are traumatic in nature. Do we have happy past lives?
The concept of reincarnation is found in many spiritual traditions. To my mind, the tradition that best articulates the relationship between our previous lives and our current life is Buddhism. In that tradition, there is a concept called a “sanskara.” A sanskara is an imprint that contains information about the focus of the mind at the time of death. The information contained in this imprint is considered to be at least part of the focus upon which the next lifetime is based. For this reason, Tenzin Wangyal, a well-known Buddhist teacher, says, “If you want to know what your past life was, look at your current life. If you want to know what your future life will be, look at your present life.”
Blog: Ask Isa: Setting Boundaries to Negativity
By Isa Gucciardi, Ph.D.
Question: I would like to know what you think about the idea of people being a mirror to us. For example, if you find yourself irritated by someone who is always crabby with you, are they a mirror to you? Or are you just meeting someone crabby or irritating?
I really appreciate this question. Because so many of us, once we have dedicated ourselves to the goal of becoming more conscious human beings, can find it challenging to discern how to use everyday difficulties as the means for moving toward this goal.
Blog: Ask Isa: Aging and Radical Self-Acceptance
By Isa Gucciardi, Ph.D.
Question: When it comes to maintaining one’s aging body, where is the line between self-love and self-loathing?
I don’t consider maintaining your body an act of self-loathing unless you are doing it in response to some kind of negative view or thinking. You have to look at the motivation behind what you are calling maintenance.
Blog: Ask Isa: Vulnerability
By Isa Gucciardi, Ph.D.
Question: You have said that there is power in the vulnerability inherent in major life transitions but I have a hard time understanding how that is possible. Would you explain this more?
Blog: Ask Isa: Overcoming Guilt as a Reaction to the State of the World
By Isa Gucciardi, Ph.D.
Question: I feel very guilty about the state of the world and my relatively good life. I have so much and others are in such pain and have so little. My response is to over-give in an effort to help, but it never seems to be enough and I just end up feeling worse about myself and about the state of the world. How do you live with the knowledge that so much is wrong in the world and then not do something about it?